Mordheim: City of the Godamnit

Hello blog? *solemn bell tolls.....tumbleweed.....wind howls...*

Things have been a bit quiet on here lately, so thought it was time to give 'Yo Dawg....' a kick to see if it's still moving.

At the weekend a group of us met up to play Mordheim again in Oxford, taking orcs and goblins, beastmen, the possessed, ogres, the carnival of chaos and skaven to the streets.

Some choice highlights:

Two heroes out of action? Ah well, anything but a one....anything but a one....oh sh-

 Let’s do the subplots rules! -2 modifier to all shooting because of a gale? FFFFFUUUUU-

 Just hit! HIT HIM!

 Only need to wound....ahhh a one again.

 I can see him! I CAN SEE! It’s short range, three’s to hit, come on....one. Well, to be expected.

 Two more heroes out of action....surely I won’t roll another lot of ones, right? Ah I see, I CAN!

 A goblin’s got experience! Anything but lads got talent...anything but lads got talent....cheers 11. *removes goblin from roster sheet.*

Quite frankly, I’ve never rolled such appalling dice in all my life. It even beats the time I rolled 5 ones out of 7 dice when making armour saves for my chaos terminators against a dark reaper squad 10 years ago (yes, it’s still fresh in my mind, some things never leave you!)

I would talk of dice being weighted and how everyone is a cheating bastard (Jason) but it seems luck had gone on holiday for me.

At the end of three games (I didn’t have a warband to actually play anyone) I had lost:

My orc boss
My shaman (TWICE!)
Both Big ‘Uns (one of them twice also)
Both squigs
Both goblins armed with spears

My remaining force consisted of:

A goblin armed with a club and short bow
An orc boy
A newly purchased big ‘un from the end of the second game.
And 9 gold coins in the bank.
Yeah liquidate that.

Despite this horrendous display of how NOT to play Mordheim, it was great fun all in all. Some other players suffered also, with Marc’s beastmen being whittled down to only 7 models and a newly hired centagor getting an old war-wound in his first battle; Jason’s possessed brethren lost 2 of their number in the first game and Oly’s newly-formed ogre warband were thoroughly play-tested.

On the other hand, Rion’s skaven seem unstoppable at the moment and Prakash’s nurglings are absolutely lethal little ankle biters – ones to watch.

But beware, for there’s been a change in the air, a sinister figure has appeared...the corpses of these poor-dead goblins and blooded orcs will perhaps have some use...

I'm a troll man...

Here is a painting update! I've been a bit slack recently, but I've finally started work on the howdah for the big spider. I actually don't know how some parts go together, so expect it to be bodged, at a jaunty angle and badly glued together. It will also have the web flinger because quite frankly, I don't want a goblin shaman miscasting, then exploding on my lovely big spider.

Also, I've nearly finished the river trolls. They haven't been based yet, nor had goblins stuck on them (at least one of them is going to have a goblin sitting on his back). Here they are so far:

Pokey

Fishy

Sicky

 

 

Can't wait to get these lads into a scrap. Or rather, can't wait to fail those stupidity tests and have them stand about doing naff all.

The magic in this game is dumb anyway.

Previously on Warhammer, a game of Fantasy Battles:

"Irresistible force, what could POSSIBLY go wrong?" ZZAPP

"Hey guys, anyone seen a shaman - level 2, green skin, purple cloak, funny expression? No? Hmmm...."

"Oh the squigs are going the wrong way, fantastic."

"Why is he swinging that ball near us? No, the other way THE OTHER WAY...OH SHI-"

"Get on the blower someone - more savage orcs needed. Plus, better warpaint."

"Rat ogre steaks? GET IN!"

Not my finest hour. But certainly not my worst game ever (that avenue of enjoyment happened many years ago, and somehow I've blocked most of it from my mind - so many failed animosity tests.)

Things started off badly and got worse with my shaman casting irresistible force, then being sucked into the realms of chaos (he survived a strength 10 hit then decided to fail a toughness test). Bye. The squigs then ran off.

Other 'highlights' include:

• the spearchucka crew dying to the rat ogres after firing once and missing. The other crew also fleeing the board.
• the fanatics cutting back through the unit they were released from - several times.
• the savage orcs getting dicked by the ogres in a brutal overkill combat.
• the night goblins holding their own against the rat ogres and with the newly routed squigs, breaking them and destroying them!

Seriously, I've actually played a lot worse than that.

Musings:

• Avoid being charged by Ogres. The impact hits are brutal enough.
• Skaven magic can jog on.
• My own magic can jog on.
• In a 1,000 points, I need more hard-hitting, high-wound units. The spearchuckas are a waste of time.

All in all, I very much enjoyed myself. I can never feel down when playing orcs and goblins. They're just too comedy. I expect to kill half my own troops - frankly, finishing a game without Cheneying my own troops would be weird. The new rules don't seem all that different either; still need a bit of study mind. Oly and Rion seemed to enjoy kicking the crap out of each other, which is always good!

He's a FUNGI to be with!

Good news everyone! Games Workshop was on the BBC site today. See here for a badly titled, but fairly competent article on the hobby. Also, there's quite a few stellar examples (thanks Oly) of John Gabriel's Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory.

Anyway to business. Here's a mushroom!

 

That will rank up with my gobbos now, hurrah! Nearly finished painting the shaman conversion to go on the top.

Oh yeah, sample Goblin only army list - 1,000 points

Night goblin warboss - light armour, shield, sword of might, talisman of endurance - 108pts

Night goblin shaman - level 2, dispel scroll, talisman of protection - 125pts

Night goblin big boss - battle standard, shield, light armour, bad moon banner - 109pts

36 Night goblins - with boss, musician, spears, shields, netters, 3 fanatics - 248pts

30 Night goblins - with boss, musician, standard, short bows, 3 fanatics - 195pts

2 Spear chuckas - 70pts

15 Cave squigs and 8 herders - 138pts

Basically, will be relying on the cave squigs. Everything else is fodder. Standard for goblins really. Whole army is fodder. Probably overdone it with heroes in a 1000 points to be honest. I used to have a level 4 great shaman as my warboss and stand him at the back, hording all the power dice and laughing like a maniac.

Also, never underestimate the night goblins armed with shortbows. That unit has taken down a stegadon. Granted, not with shooting (seriously, you're at long range already and they suck the big one) but in combat they went insane and had stegadon steaks that night!

Subject to change, but the 'core' is there if you like. I'm actually in the process of repainting the spear chuckas which were WOEFUL to say the least. The big boss on the cave squig needs basing and my quest ot make him an EPIC base is falling a bit short at the moment. I want it bouncing over some stuff/remains of something he's just eaten/sicked up but I'm not sure what. Any suggestions? Note, 'your mum' has already been suggested but she's bizzzaayyy -  HHHEEEYYYYYYYY OOOOOOOHHH.

Also, anyone thinking "that army looks a walkover..." I've got 4 stone trolls* and a giant who likes to jump up and down/stuff heroes down his trousers.

*love/hate relationship with my stone trolls. Love it when they do stuff (rarely), absolutely despise them when they constantly fail leadership tests and stand there. One very memorable battle involved them not doing anything for the entrie game, despite my warboss being in range for them to use his leadership.

A detour to Mordheim

Hello!

I haven't posted much, due to being busy with other blogs and drinking heavily and as such, haven't had much chance to write anything since getting back from holiday (save for talking about how good squigs are).

Anyway, painting progress is slow. My second box of savage orcs are like a rather large lump of wyrdstone around my neck. I can see them out of the corner of my eye; laying in a heap on the cutting mat, half-painted green, with all the weapon hands finally glued on, but not effort to actually paint said weapons. Only one is marginally complete (the musician). I will work on getting these finished, as I was proud of the first lot (who need war-painting up!)

I've also been working on my cockatrice, which now sports a rather fetching pink mohawk and blue fur. It looks hideous. Also completed is another mushroom (this time on a base that's the right size). Tried taking some pictures of it and they look rubbish, so no pictures, sorry. Other projects include painting another screamer-killer Carnifex (sorry, 40K talk).

HOWEVER...I have got pics of a new addition to my Mordheim warband. Yes, a tangent - apologies, but I'm rather proud of this dude. Few games back, one of my Orc Big 'Uns (Morko) got a weapons expert skill (and because he can have shooting skillz, he now has a blunderbuss that "e found in da handz of sum humie wiv no legz." Yes...quite. Anyway, Morko now totes a blunderbuss. Now, converting one was out of my slightly inferior hands. However, using a technique know as 'copying'; I managed to cobble together something I saw on another blog, but in my own primitive style. It isn't the best conversion work, but it does the job and it's typically 'orc and goblins' in that respect.

yes, that's a spare spider from the Arachnarok kit, in the hand of a
40K ork, that had been cut and re-glued ages ago.

Shoddy, yes - but that's Orc craftsmanship for you. The little guy is Gorko, his mate!