I'm a troll man...

Here is a painting update! I've been a bit slack recently, but I've finally started work on the howdah for the big spider. I actually don't know how some parts go together, so expect it to be bodged, at a jaunty angle and badly glued together. It will also have the web flinger because quite frankly, I don't want a goblin shaman miscasting, then exploding on my lovely big spider.

Also, I've nearly finished the river trolls. They haven't been based yet, nor had goblins stuck on them (at least one of them is going to have a goblin sitting on his back). Here they are so far:

Pokey

Fishy

Sicky

 

 

Can't wait to get these lads into a scrap. Or rather, can't wait to fail those stupidity tests and have them stand about doing naff all.

The magic in this game is dumb anyway.

Previously on Warhammer, a game of Fantasy Battles:

"Irresistible force, what could POSSIBLY go wrong?" ZZAPP

"Hey guys, anyone seen a shaman - level 2, green skin, purple cloak, funny expression? No? Hmmm...."

"Oh the squigs are going the wrong way, fantastic."

"Why is he swinging that ball near us? No, the other way THE OTHER WAY...OH SHI-"

"Get on the blower someone - more savage orcs needed. Plus, better warpaint."

"Rat ogre steaks? GET IN!"

Not my finest hour. But certainly not my worst game ever (that avenue of enjoyment happened many years ago, and somehow I've blocked most of it from my mind - so many failed animosity tests.)

Things started off badly and got worse with my shaman casting irresistible force, then being sucked into the realms of chaos (he survived a strength 10 hit then decided to fail a toughness test). Bye. The squigs then ran off.

Other 'highlights' include:

• the spearchucka crew dying to the rat ogres after firing once and missing. The other crew also fleeing the board.
• the fanatics cutting back through the unit they were released from - several times.
• the savage orcs getting dicked by the ogres in a brutal overkill combat.
• the night goblins holding their own against the rat ogres and with the newly routed squigs, breaking them and destroying them!

Seriously, I've actually played a lot worse than that.

Musings:

• Avoid being charged by Ogres. The impact hits are brutal enough.
• Skaven magic can jog on.
• My own magic can jog on.
• In a 1,000 points, I need more hard-hitting, high-wound units. The spearchuckas are a waste of time.

All in all, I very much enjoyed myself. I can never feel down when playing orcs and goblins. They're just too comedy. I expect to kill half my own troops - frankly, finishing a game without Cheneying my own troops would be weird. The new rules don't seem all that different either; still need a bit of study mind. Oly and Rion seemed to enjoy kicking the crap out of each other, which is always good!

He's a FUNGI to be with!

Good news everyone! Games Workshop was on the BBC site today. See here for a badly titled, but fairly competent article on the hobby. Also, there's quite a few stellar examples (thanks Oly) of John Gabriel's Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory.

Anyway to business. Here's a mushroom!

 

That will rank up with my gobbos now, hurrah! Nearly finished painting the shaman conversion to go on the top.

Oh yeah, sample Goblin only army list - 1,000 points

Night goblin warboss - light armour, shield, sword of might, talisman of endurance - 108pts

Night goblin shaman - level 2, dispel scroll, talisman of protection - 125pts

Night goblin big boss - battle standard, shield, light armour, bad moon banner - 109pts

36 Night goblins - with boss, musician, spears, shields, netters, 3 fanatics - 248pts

30 Night goblins - with boss, musician, standard, short bows, 3 fanatics - 195pts

2 Spear chuckas - 70pts

15 Cave squigs and 8 herders - 138pts

Basically, will be relying on the cave squigs. Everything else is fodder. Standard for goblins really. Whole army is fodder. Probably overdone it with heroes in a 1000 points to be honest. I used to have a level 4 great shaman as my warboss and stand him at the back, hording all the power dice and laughing like a maniac.

Also, never underestimate the night goblins armed with shortbows. That unit has taken down a stegadon. Granted, not with shooting (seriously, you're at long range already and they suck the big one) but in combat they went insane and had stegadon steaks that night!

Subject to change, but the 'core' is there if you like. I'm actually in the process of repainting the spear chuckas which were WOEFUL to say the least. The big boss on the cave squig needs basing and my quest ot make him an EPIC base is falling a bit short at the moment. I want it bouncing over some stuff/remains of something he's just eaten/sicked up but I'm not sure what. Any suggestions? Note, 'your mum' has already been suggested but she's bizzzaayyy -  HHHEEEYYYYYYYY OOOOOOOHHH.

Also, anyone thinking "that army looks a walkover..." I've got 4 stone trolls* and a giant who likes to jump up and down/stuff heroes down his trousers.

*love/hate relationship with my stone trolls. Love it when they do stuff (rarely), absolutely despise them when they constantly fail leadership tests and stand there. One very memorable battle involved them not doing anything for the entrie game, despite my warboss being in range for them to use his leadership.

Fungus Amongus!

Aside from the fanatics, squigs are possibly my best models that only have 1 wound in the orc and goblin army. What is essentially a ball of fungus stuck on some legs, with a head full of teeth and unpredictable movement. Not only is their weapon skill far superior to a lowly goblin (4 as opposed to 2); they have a strength of 5 (-2 to armour saves, nearly always wounding on 2’s or 3’s) and 2 attacks standard. Plus, when they go mad they cause D6 strength 5 hits on nearby units and for every 5 squigs remaining, add plus 1 to that. 8 points a model for something that’s an erratic killing machine. Of course, under my command, they wouldn’t probably attack my own unit, then flee through another unit and be destroyed.

I don’t nearly have enough of these dudes – think at a rough count it was 18 or 20 (mix of old, new and really old Gorkamorka ones that have Mohawks which Brett gave me). I think a massive unit of 50 would be good. Might have to work on a unit filler or something.

They’re also great fun to paint – why have cotton when you can paint them really stupid colours? Here are the newest additions. Note the big 'un and the little guy are from this set. I don't even know what this is but it's funny. Might use the goblin as a hero or something. Will probably do an army list or something soon. 

BOUNCE POGO POGO POGO POGO